On Stupidity

"Strange as it seems, no amount of learning can cure stupidity, and higher education positively fortifies it."
-- Stephen Vizinczey, An Innocent Millionaire

The Boy has a t-shirt that reads, "Every day I think people can't get any stupider. Every day I'm proven horribly wrong."

During lunch between ball games last weekend The Tall One was talking about driving and how much she hates stupid people.

They get this from their mother.

I was the IT/IS Support contact for my former employer. That means I was the first person our employees were supposed to call if they had a problem with their computer. Now, those of you who knew me then will have to forgive me if any of this sounds familiar (I am not naming names here, more for my own protection than theirs). Following are actual conversations I had with some of my former coworkers:

Co-Worker: "It won't take my password."
Me: "Is your CAPS lock on?"
CW: "Oh, yeah, it is. Does that matter?"

CW: "My computer won't come on at all."
Me: "Did you check the power switch?"
CW: "There's a power switch?"

CW: "All my files are gone."
Me: "Okay, let me get into your computer and check on that." [pause] "Um, were you the last person to log into this computer?"
CW: "Oh, no, So-and-Such used it last."
Me: "Try logging So-and-Such off, then log on as you. You'll be able to access your files then."
CW: "Oh, okay." [pause] "Hey, there they are. Now, should I do that every time?"

I'm not making this stuff up, people. My standard response (after I hung up the phone, of course) was, "I'm sorry, I can't fix stupid." I used to threaten them that if they kept it up, they were going to wind up in one of my books one day, and that I'd probably kill them off. Joyfully. They used to find that funny. Little do they know ... bwahahaha ...